The Underground: Part 4

My eyes snapped open.

What was that? Who were those people?

I had seen three people. One was a tall and buff man with patchy stubble and a permanent scowl. He was balding, but his hair was still a dark brown colour.

The second was a frail looking woman with a bruise that covered a good part of her face. She had grey streaks in her otherwise fiery red hair. She had tired eyes.

The third was someone I recognized. I had seen him twice in my dreams. The first time, we met on a plain. The second, I wasn’t able to speak, but I watched as he locked himself in a bathroom and killed himself.

Jason.

Who was Jason, and why did he appear in my dreams like this? He said he was me, but that couldn’t be true. He killed himself. I saw it in my dream. Unless that was just a dream, and nothing more.

It was all too confusing.

The dreams were pushed from my head as I remembered the events from yesterday. The Elimination. I had killed someone. I needed to if I wanted food, that’s what Block said. Still, I felt like scum.

Without anything else to do, I got up and changed into my regular clothes. I never noticed before, but all my old clothes were replaced overnight. Creepy.

When I returned to my cubicle, most of the others were up and about already. Block was chatting with Spark, Sock and Wheeler, until he noticed me return. He said something to them and approached me.

“Hey, how’s it going? You doing better?” He asked, smiling gently.

“Yeah, I actually had a question.”

“Shoot.” He replied, grinning.

“Do you ever had dreams where you see a different person’s life?” I asked.

He grin disappeared and was replaced by a serious look. “Uh… Yes.” He looked around cautiously. “We can’t talk about them, though. Someone might be listening.”

This surprised me. What happened to confident, laid-back Block?

“Yeah, okay. Just wondering.” I replied.

He nodded and retreated to his other buddies.

The rest of the day was relatively uneventful. With nothing scheduled by our mysterious overseers, I only ate my meals and worked out in the training room. I only found out about it today, actually. It’s a room full of exercise equipment and such. I saw Stick there, but he didn’t exercise. He eyed me from across the room.

After some evening workouts, I went and joined the usual group of Block, Ref, Spark, Wheeler and Sock for dinner. We chatted about some of the others we lived with.

“Stick is an odd one.” Block said. “No one knows who he is, really. He doesn’t get close to anyone. He has no scars, and he’s been here longer than I have. He gave me a quick tour when I first arrived.”

“Wow. I had no idea.” I replied.

“Yeah, dude’s a mystery.”

We continued our gossip until it was lights out. I climbed into my cubicle. I was so tired from my workouts today that as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

I was walking home from school. Today hadn’t been a great day. I got in trouble for a scuffle, and my parents had been called. I knew what was in store for me.

I pushed open my condo’s peeling front door and set my bag down. I sat on the torn couch, not even bothering to try and hide from my father. It was no use, and resisting would only make the punishment worse.

Soon enough, the troll lumbered into the living room.

“Stand up, boy.” He commanded.

I shot up and looked down.

“I got a call from school today. What did I tell you?”

“Not to get in fights.” I replied.

“And what did you do?”

“Get in a fight.”

“Look at me.” He said.

I looked up, and as soon as I met his eyes, he swung at my face. My head snapped to the side as pain shot through my cheek.

I stumbled around, trying to regain my balance, and he struck me in the stomach. As I crumpled to the ground, he smirked and looked down on me.

“Listen to me next time, boy.”

“Yessir…” I wheezed.

  • Daniel Di Benedetto

    Once again, with more detail, that final scene would’ve hit a lot harder. For instance: explain his father’s wiry fist impacting his abdomen, how it felt like he was colliding with a freight train. Elucidate the stern look of cold disappointment plastered on his father’s face. Describe the intense feelings of dread Jason was experiencing while sitting on the couch, like a hurricane was coming and all he could do was wait for it to arrive. Small, vivid details increase a story’s impact unimaginably.

    • IronMosquito

      Hey dude! I’ll apologize now for the late replies, I was on a vacation out in the country. No wifi. (ツ)
      Anyways, I’ll reply to all of your comments here, just to make things easy.
      Thanks for the criticism! I love hearing feedback about my stories. Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to delve a bit into your personal life. That’s the kind of effect I was going for. I have an immense amount of respect for the military, as my father is a veteran. I will definitely try to add some more depth to Cut and his emotions as well.
      I will gladly take your advice and add more detail, thanks for suggesting that! I hope my stories will be improved thanks to your comments.
      Cheers, mate!

      • Daniel Di Benedetto

        Awesome, looking forward to any updates you’ve got coming, man.