1. The first rule of being cliché is living a cliché filled type of life.
Life is so full of clichés don’t you think and especially with the type of stories and entertainment we get forced to watch and listen as well as to drown our minds into death with. This story is also going to be one of those cliché type of stories where the obvious causal link ends with an obvious result. I mean have you ever watched something so cliché and predictable that it made you look like some sort of psychic? I mean I have. I want to first talk about a creature or some higher being called the cliché man. The cliché man always feeds off clichés really which I am sure most of you could have guessed straight away and I am sure you have also realized that the cliché man gets stronger when in an clichéd environment.
I had a pretty normal life with a wife and two children and while I was the main bread winner of the house hold, my wife took care of the kids and the house. Life was pretty good in the normal good family sense of the word and I also managed to take my family out on holidays, family days out to restaurants and so on. So we were a pretty clichéd family to start off with which attracted the cliché man in the first place which I am sure you lot could have predicted easily.
2. The second rule of being cliché is weird things suddenly happening without much reason.
In the first couple of weeks leading up to the cliché man invading my life, I started getting so many so called psychics following me around everywhere and telling me my future and the future of my family. It was things like my wife will start having an affair and I must follow the rules of being cliché and I would have to murder my wife and her lover. I thought they were crazy but one day while I was on my break in the office I got a phone call off my wife saying that she had an affair with another man in our own bedroom. I honestly didn’t know what to think or feel about any of it but my wife then said “you have got to follow the rules of being cliché and murder me and my lover”
3. The third rule of being cliché is my marriage and what I have always known and loved going bad.
Then I came home to find that my wife and her new lover were in our bed prepared to be killed by me. I wasn’t even angry or furious just highly confused and freaked out. There was a knife outside our bedroom door and I saw both my wife and her lover just smiling at me waiting to be killed by me, because that’s what usually happens when a husband finds his wife with another man in their own bedroom.
“Look you two I don’t know what the rules of being cliché are but I am going back to work” I told my wife and her lover and both of them looked so disappointed and angry with me for disobeying the rules of being cliché made by the cliché man.
“Daddy you must follow the rules of being cliché because if you don’t then the cliché man will be angry” my two sons told me and I didn’t notice before that they were both behind me
4. Fourth rule of being cliché is some weird paranormal ability being performed on you to force you to do something against your will.
Because out of nowhere my mind swapped with my wife’s mind and I was in her body and she was in mine. My wife then threatened me while in my body that if I don’t follow the rules of being cliché then she will take over my body forever after killing her body with my mind inside it. I desperately decided that I will murder her and her lover if my mind could go back into my body and it did. Obviously I am sure you lot have guessed by now that my families mind has been taken over by the cliché man how predictable right. As I was back in my own body I ran over to my wife and stabbed her to death and then I murdered her lover. My two sons ran over to me and hugged me and shouting in joy “well done father the cliché man will be so pleased you followed the rules of being cliché and predictable”
5. The fifth rule of being cliché is having your close one effected by a tragic incident.
The ages of my sons are 13 and 15 and the obvious next phase of my two sons seeing me murder their mother is that they go g******n crazy and start acting out. I put the bodies of my wife and her lover down in the cellar where we keep a larger freezer which could fit both their bodies. That year my two sons started behaving badly and getting into trouble and whenever I question them about it my sons reply will be “it’s the rules of being cliché. Youngsters like us who have witnessed something terrible go crazy and start acting out because we have something bottled up” my sons would tell me.
Then I heard my wife calling me from downstairs into the cellar from the freezer.
“Stan you should understand the rules of being cliché by now” my dead wife’s body would shout out from the cellar freezer and I would shake in fear.
“Yes honey” I reply shakily replied
6. The sixth rule of being cliché is always having some outside hearing something, seeing something and knowing something.
Now in these sort of situations there is always predictably some sort of friend, colleague or family member who notices something strange, or saw something and heard something. Guess what that is what exactly happened when my next door neighbours came over to meet me. Without any friendliness or anything to break the ice they instantly start talking about the rules of being cliché and what their role is going to be. They were the ones to go to the police to report to them about me and the disappearance of my wife. Then this is where I get eventually arrested and my two sons go into care and get mental health treatment. I was against everything and didn’t want to be part of this cliché or follow any stupid rules belonging to cliché.
7. The seventh rule of being cliché is eventually being stuck in some horrible situation which you cannot escape and cannot break out of.
Then my mind swapped with my dead wife’s body and it was so cold and empty. I couldn’t even shiver, cry or shout for help. I could hear my wife in my body and enjoying herself being warm and being able to move around again. She came down while inside my body and she basically said to me “the cliché man will let you back in your body if you promise to follow the rules of being cliché” and I desperately and cowardly agreed and how cliché of me that is.
I am back in my body and my next door neighbors have gone to the police and I have hugged and kissed my boys good bye for forever. I am so sorry if this story has been so cliché and predictable.
