Terrified of the Night

by LostBoy
958
4
38

As a kid, I’m almost positive that you were scared of the dark, or what lies in it. Honestly, the dark still freaks me out to this day. And that’s why I’m writing this. I’m willing to admit I have Anxiety and it’s hard for me to stand the dark at points. Even as a kid, I was extremely scared of the dark. I believed in monsters that came to eat your soul, or eat your liver. But, to this day, even though I don’t believe in monsters anymore. But being a teenager is not helping my situation.

Recently, I claimed that I was experiencing Insanity first-hand. No one believed me, but for the people I asked to try to help with this situation, became fearful of me. It’s like I was the monsters from my childhood. But I had one friend, one of my best friends to be exact. Krystan. She did her best to help me through it all, and to this day she still does. She trys to help me believe I’m not.

—————————————————————

“— You’re not insane. Trust me.”

“Krystan, how do you explain this all? I’m hearing voices, and seeing figures that aren’t actually there. You say it’s stress but it doesn’t feel overwhelming like stress does.”

“I understand that, — but trust me. Maybe school and home issues are getting to your head. Take your Insomnia medications and try to sleep through this all. It’s almost 10.”

“Krystan, I can’t sleep. The pills won’t work well enough when I’m freaking out. Last time that happened I woke up on the kitchen floor, my right arm cut up bloody, with a shaky grip on a kitchen knife. And having my left arm twitching and shaking aswell. I don’t want a repeat of that.”

“True, hey give me a second. I’m going to look up some solutions online. It’ll only take 5 minutes.”

5 minutes. Hehe. Didn’t seem like long…right? But little did I know, that 5 minutes was far from “Not too long”. I sat there in my lifted bed, waiting for what seems to be an eternity. Waiting, just waiting for her to be Active again. I’d sit there, staring at the Active Bar, waiting for her Profile picture to pop up. About 2 minutes passed, and I hear a faint noise running through the house. I know that my parents and sisters are sleeping. I would hear them storming through the house with Iron strapped to the bottom of their feet. No. This noise was almost silent compared to my family. I didn’t want to step out of my some what safe room into the hallway. I didn’t trust many things at night anymore. I’d act like a small, frightened child, hiding under my comforter and thin blanket. I could hear the noises getting closer to my room. But suddenly, the footsteps stopped. Right in front of my door… I could hear the door knob moving to unlock it. But it sounded like one of my parents. I felt a tiny bit of relief flow through my body. I lifted my head out of the covers, trying to spot my parents.  Except it wasn’t them when they opened the door… My parents weren’t tall, oddly skinny, and had extremely long and sharp razor claws. At that moment, my body couldn’t take it. I blacked out, never to be heard about again…

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  • Empresses Esen

    This is a every interestint story.😁

    • Lost Boy

      Thank you, I’m doing my best to get in many and interesting stories.

      • Empresses Esen

        Good luck, I can’t wait to read other stories.

        • Lost Boy

          As for you, if you ever write a story. Write from the heart, have a good day.

          • Empresses Esen

            Thank you, that really in spires me as a young writer.

          • Lost Boy

            Hey, that’s what I’m here for. Best of luck to you as a young writer. Maybe I’ll stop by and read one of your stories in the future.

          • Empresses Esen

            That would be great. Oh and how did you come up with your username?

          • Lost Boy

            Out of all honesty, I’m a outcast from society. You could even say I’m “Lost”. So ya, I based it off of my real life.

          • Empresses Esen

            Wow, it sounds like you’ve had it hard. I hope you find your place in society because there are probably more people who would like your story.

          • Lost Boy

            Thanks man, for the postive support. I have had it pretty difficult, but those make good stories so I can fit in society somewhere. But, always looks towards the Future, the past is behind you.

          • Empresses Esen

            I have one last question, how do you feel after you posted the story?

          • Lost Boy

            I felt pretty nervous l, thinking not many people would enjoy it. But’s the people like you who make this hobby of mine. Writing. Alot more interesting to work with.

          • Empresses Esen

            That boosts my confidence. Thanks again Lost Boy.

          • Lost Boy

            Anytime Esen, new story should be posted by tomorrow (Because the system takes until the next day to update.)

          • Empresses Esen

            Nice I can’t wait to read it.☺ I still need to figure out how I’m going to post a story, but I’d like you to be the first one to read it.

          • Lost Boy

            Of course, and go to the Main Screen, click the 3 Bar icon in the top left. Click publish, write your story, edit it whatever, scroll down to “Submit for Review” it’ll search for mistakes. Once that’s done, it will automatically post itself to the front page on the main menu once the system updates.

          • Empresses Esen

            Thank you!
            I hope this isn’t stepping over the line, but how old are you?

          • Lost Boy

            I am 13, a young writer like you. With a mind filled with acid 😂

          • Empresses Esen

            Lol with the way you write, I thought you were older. You have better vocabulary then me.😂

          • Lost Boy

            Well maybe with enough practice, you’ll end up with some good touching stories. But I have a feeling they are already going to be good. And yes, I am young 😂.

          • Empresses Esen

            Yeah younger than me even. That’s why I am inprest with your vocabulary skills.

          • Lost Boy

            Well thank you, I’m goinf to finish this story real fast. Best of luck to you, please contact me when your story is ready. I’ll read it.

          • Empresses Esen

            Okay, thank you again and I will tell you when my story is done. Hope you are successful in the future.

          • Lost Boy

            Anytime, and hopefully you are as successful as I dream to be.

  • Simon

    Spooky stuff happen and then some more spooky stuff happen for the sake of spooky stuff happening.

    • Lost Boy

      Well thanks, for. The I guess compliment? It’s hard to understand which side you were going for when you wrote that comment

      • Simon

        I was basically trying to say that your story is more focused on having supposedly creepy stuff happening than being a coherent well-written story. The monster isn’t properly introduced or even hinted at and text is literally divided in 3 separate parts with nothing really linking them.

        • Lost Boy

          The purpose of the story was not to have a long, well developed plot. The purpose was to create a small, dense atmosphere for the specific purpose of creating a horror story. It doesn’t need to be longer in order to have a well developed plot regardless. As for a better a properly introduced monster, that is a far cry from common. I accept constructive criticism, but until you learn to read a story and appreciate it for it’s positives, I suggest that you keep your mouth shut and enjoy the pasta.

          • Simon

            That’s fair enough, but I don’t think that diving your story into 3 separate seemingly unrelated parts and even putting lines between them like you want to further enforce how disjointed everything is, really helps in achieving that. I’ve read a few good short stories here (somehow) and all of them have a pretty consistent story that doesn’t just randomly cut to some characters texting it whatever. I’m fact, most stories I’ve read don’t do that either.
            As for the monster, what bothers me is that it has no other purpose in your story, other than for it to have a creepy ending. That, coupled with it not being mentioned or hinted atjust makes you look like you had no idea how to finish the story, so you three together a crappy twist ending. Like, I could come up with a better and more disturbing ending and not even have to have someone killed.
            Also have you considered the possibility that there are no positives in your story. That just you haven’t completely screwed something up like proper pacing or whatever, doesn’t mean it’s a positive. Say, I’m not gonna praise a film director because he figured out how to point a camera at something or for knowing how Windows Movie Maker works. But if you want praise for such unimaginably hard acomplishments, I’d recommend finding a kindergarden. I hear kids there can get praise for pretty simple stuff like colouring inside the lines.

          • Lost Boy

            Thanks for the contribution, and while your limited vocabulary and awful spelling/grammar made it nearly unreadable( I recommend second grade phonics), with a paragraph like that you could write pastas of you own, instead of critiquing other author’s stories. After all, why should I take writing advice from someone who doesn’t write? Sounds like lunacy.

          • Simon

            You know, maybe I don’t write pastas because I’m aware that I’ll probably not do well, so I save myself the embarassment (that’s not exactly the case, but whatever). That, of course doesn’t prevent me from recognising the flaws of whatever I’m reading or, indeed, pointing them out.
            But you make an interesting suggestion. Let’s imagine a universe where people can only criticise a thing if they have participated in the creation of the same type of thing. It would be a terrible place to live. For example, there would be barely any videogame critics, as videogame development is such a hard and exhausting process, that no-one would really want to them go and do what’s a completely separate job in our world.
            I don’t need to be a game developer or even a game critic to tell you that Aliens: Colonial Marines is a terrible game or to explain you why. And I don’t need to have written a story to tell you that your creepypasta is terrible.

          • Lost Boy

            I figured. I’m not an idiot. But your unnecessary and frankly plain idiotic criticism is unacceptable. Simply shut your mouth. Critiquing a small author’s first story shows that you have nothing better to do with your time than make fun of other people and demonstrate your own immaturity. Your move, although whether or not i will respond is still up for debate, as i have more important things to do than hold a discussion with some random person who likes to critique all aspects to a reasonably made story.

          • Simon

            Jeez sude, my move? What, are you seeing this as some kind of battle? Really? A random person tells you that your story is bad and you launch into attack, not addressing any criticisms you’re presented with and instead choosing to accuse him of bullying and call him immature?And what for? A freaking begginer’s creepypasta. And I’m the immature?

            Hell, tell me why my criticisms are “unnecessary” and “idiotic”. Tell me what am I doing wrong so I can learn and improve. Then you could probably see what a proper response to criticism is.

          • Lost Boy

            “Your Move”: a term commonly used in chess. This is not a battle, and as I previously stated, i appreciate constructive critisicm. However, you critisicm is not constructive at all, its just critism for the purpose of critiquing. You have done nothing but degrade my story, and its not appreciated. It’s not the fact that you are insulting my story, as i could care less. Its the fact that you find yourself obligated to paint every story in the worst possible light. Trust me, I’ve seen your profile. You have nothing to say but negative. Heed the advice you probably learned in grades school: “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”.

          • Simon

            You know, you have a point. My criticisms are indeed mostly focusing on the negative aspects, and I can see how that could be offensive to people and even discourage some from writing at all.

            See, it’s that easy to admit your mistakes. Why is it that difficult for you?

  • Simon

    That’s fair enough, but I don’t think that diving your story into 3 separate seemingly unrelated parts and even putting lines between them like you want to further enforce how disjointed everything is, really helps in achieving that. I’ve read a few good short stories here (somehow) and all of them have a pretty consistent story that doesn’t just randomly cut to some characters texting it whatever. I’m fact, most stories I’ve read don’t do that either.
    As for the monster, what bothers me is that it has no other purpose in your story, other than for it to have a creepy ending. That, coupled with it not being mentioned or hinted atjust makes you look like you had no idea how to finish the story, so you three together a crappy twist ending. Like, I could come up with a better and more disturbing ending and not even have to have someone killed.

  • Ray Ramirez

    Pretty good, I liked it

  • Lonewolf111

    I rlly liked it for a story it was short and ominous and left on a sort of cliff hanger witch I rlly liked. Gud story bro.