You all know my story… at least you know the story the books have taught you.
My name is Snow White. Does that ring a bell?
Anyways you all know about me and the seven dwarves.
But do you know the real story?
Yes the evil queen did order her underling to kill me, yes he did let me go and yes I did stumble upon the dwarves’ house but the rest of the story goes a bit different than from what you know.
You see the dwarves were like pigs, they would work all day and then they would come home and lay around do nothing and expect me to cook, clean and be their personal slave.
I was slowly getting sick of that, constant ordering around and treating me like dirt. They would occasionally grab my a*s and g***e me.
Why are you so surprised? They are males after all…
I despised them but I had to stay there because I had nowhere else to go. So I did the dirty work and I didn’t mind them being touchy from time to time but this time…. They went too far.
I thought about running away to a distant place where neither the queen or the dwarves could find me. But I had something else planned.
One day they came from work all dirty from the coal and went straight to bed which I just cleaned. They took a nap which lasted 7 hours and then woke up demanding food.
“Emmm boys I wouldn’t want to worry you but why is there only 6 of you?”
“What the hell are you talking about woman?”
I never liked Grumpy and his tone, he would piss me off the most.
“Grumpy the girl speaks the truth”
Sleepy was my favorite since he was mostly asleep and was never making any kind of mess.
“One, two, three…. Where is Dopey?”
Dopey was kind of funny but he was also the most handsy one which I did not really appreciate.
“Eh f**k it he must have went for a walk or something. I just hope the wolves don’t eat him.”
They all burst into laughter. What was so funny about one of your friends being eaten alive?
“Oi Snow, where’s the dinner?”
“It’s already served boys. Don’t forget it’s still hot”
I watched them as they devoured the food without even stopping to breathe. Filthy animals… Bite after bite, after bite. They were done in less than 3 minutes.
“Mmmm delicious. Back to sleep boys we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
They fell asleep in their Goddamn chairs… these lazy bastards couldn’t even get their asses upstairs to their beds…
I cleaned up the table and decided to take a nap myself. Needless to say they were still in deep slumber by the time I woke up. I ran a few errands and prepared food.
“Mmmmm morning sunshine”
Doc was the cleanest one of the bunch but he was the loudest for some reason.
“Yay its time for work!”
Happy was well… Happy for everything and everyone, it gets kinda annoying when you spend so much time with him.
“Shut up you blockhead! AND WHERE IN THE WORLD IS BASHFUL???”
Grumpy was raising his tone as usual.
“He went out to find Dopey”
My response was met with some mumbling and disapproval.
“Those two idiots better come back by work time or I’m gonna… *yawn*”
“Shut up Sleepy and lets dig into the food.”
There they go again eating with their hands when there are clearly forks on the table…
“Oi woman this food is really good, is this some new meat?”
“Yep I caught it in one of my traps just outside the inner circle of the woods”
“Keep it coming because this s**t is amazing”
“Will do Grumpy”
They left for work so after I cleaned I finally had some time for myself. I started reading some book when they all barged in.
“What’s the matter boys?”
“Did Sleepy leave the house with us?”
“I don’t think so, why?”
“We lost him too… What in the holy f**k is going on here?”
“Oh come on boys don’t be so upset. I prepared food for you when you come back but since you’re here now…”
“Thanks Snow you’re a sweetheart. Lets eat boys maybe we will think of a solution while we do so.”
They went ahead and did their normal routine, stuffing their mouth and then trying to eat like that… Pigs.
“So in conclusion we have no clue where they could have went or what is going on.”
“Yeah Grumpy. And now there is only 4 of us… I’ve never felt… OUWWW AAAAAAA!”
“What’s wrong Doc? Are you okay?”
“I sthink I brothe my tooth on shomething hard. OUW IT HURTS!”
“Woman what the f**k? Did you forget to clean the meat and remove the bones?”
“No no, I would never forget!”
“WHAT THE F**K IS THIS S**T? OH GOD NO!”
“Doc you’re scaring me what is it?!”
“I think he just needs some rest. Let’s get you to bed.”
I grabbed Doc while he was still shaking and crying and got him to bed. He passed out halfway up the stairs so I had to carry him. I locked the door and went back to the kitchen.
“Is he alright?”
“Yeah he just passed out, hell be fine once he gets some sleep”
“What in the world did he see?”
“Oh who knows. Boys let’s get you to the couch to sleep since we don’t want to wake Doc up do we?”
“Ah I guess you’re right. Sleep tight guys, were down to three so lets hope that we find the rest.”
…
…
“Rise and shine ladies it’s time to get up.”
“Where’s Snow?”
“Oh who cares, the b***h isn’t worth much anyways.”
“Lets go check on Doc”
…
…
“What the s**t? The door is locked!”
“Kick it down Grumpy!”
“Here I go!”
The crash of the door was loud enough to wake up a sleeping elephant.
“JESUS CHRIST NO!”
“Grumpy what is…”
The lunch coming out from his mouth stopped Happy from finishing his sentence.
They were welcomed by the sight of Doc’s insides covering the walls and his head ripped off with the spine still dangling from it. His body was hung upside down from the ceiling with blood gushing from it.
“Who could have do…”
“Now boys… Didn’t we say we wouldn’t disturb Doc?”
Snow White was standing behind them with her dress covered in small red handprints and her grin was wider than ever with pieces of flesh still stuck between her teeth.
“What the f**k kind of monster…”
Grumpy was interrupted by the kitchen cleaver being run straight into his neck all the way through, chopping his head off in one clean cut.
Happy got down on his knees and started praying when one of Snow White’s heels ran straight into his eyeball, poking his brain before pulling it out and cutting off his screams with one swipe with the cleaver across his face.
Sneezy looked into Snow’s eyes and saw nothing but black, gruesome thirst for blood.
“Before you kill me, tell me where are the others and why are you doing this?”
“You pigs treated me like s**t enough already. Grumpy r****g me was just the final straw. As for the others… What scared Doc so much and what he broke his tooth on was Dopeys golden tooth.”
“You… You…”
“Yes that’s right Sneezy. I fed pigs to pigs. Squeel for me darling because this is going to hurt quite a bit.”
Snow dropped the cleaver and grabbed Sneezy’s lower and upper jaw pushing him down on his knees. She pulled them apart until the lower jaw ripped off, then she watched the horror in his eyes when she raised her foot and forced it down his throat smashing all of his organs from the inside. She pulled her foot out and picked up the cleaver before she headed down stairs and sat down on one of their chairs.
“There was seven in the start,
They were disgusting and not too smart,
Pigs and bastards, now they’re gone,
Slashed and cleaved, one by one,
Their cries for help were all in vain,
They were murdered without a strain,
They had no manners and no brain,
So I hope they enjoyed the pain.”
The doorbell rang. Snow grabbed a pickaxe by the door and opened.
“Hello young miss would you maybe like an apple?”
“Why sure grandma!”
She flung the door open and swung the pickaxe right into the old hags throat. She looked her dead in the eyes as the old woman turned back into the evil queen.
“Sno..”
Her attempt to speak was ended by the blood rushing down her throat.
“My mother always taught me to never take things from a stranger.”
Snow cracked a grin before she pulled the pickaxe out and kept hacking the queen into pieces. Her widened eyes and her grin were sprayed by the queens blood as she kept going.
She stopped hitting her only when there was nothing left but a bloody pulp in the snow. Her hand went down and she smeared it with the queens blood.
Snow went back inside and sat back down dropping the pickaxe next to her. Her hand started writing something on the wall as she kept singing in a soft tone.
“There was seven in the start,
They were disgusting and not too smart,
Pigs and bastards, now they’re gone,
Slashed and cleaved, one by one,
Their cries for help were all in vain,
They were murdered without a strain,
They had no manners and no brain,
So I hope they enjoyed the pain.
The evil queen just dropped by,
She tried being smart and sly,
But the pickaxe made her cry,
They should have known not to try,
Because if you f**k with me,
you will surely only … die”
She finished her little song just as she finished the writing on the wall.
“Bloody Red… I like it more than Snow White. And how about you?”
