This isn’t a normal story. Well, whatever creepy board for the spooky this ends up on, I leave a warning. I’m going to sound crazy. And I may very well be. But I just want to write this down. How I remember it. How I know it, before the rest of my sanity slips my mind and I claw my eyes out. It started with a file. An Internet file started this. I know what you’re thinking. This is just another red eyes, or wanderer, or kathrine, or smile dog. I used to love creepypastas. I used to love horror. I used to. This is real. This file is real. Wait, wait. It really started with a flashdrive. I bet you’re thinking: “Oh god, another flash drive story”. But I swear to god. No. There is no god. Not any more. If there ever was, he is now chained. I swear to this. I swear to… him. I swear to it. I’m trying to remember… um… I go to college… somewhere. Damnit! That’s gone too! First my family and my home! Now my school? I don’t even know where I am. It’s dark and the screen is bright. The shadows devour me and welcome me with open arms, but the screen angrily drives it away, laying claim to me itself. I went to the library at my school. I was studying for something… I went to the computer to pull up a practice program. I saw a yellow envelope peeking out from behind the monitor. I grabbed it and slid it out. It wasn’t a yellow with age yellow, the envelope was a dark lemon yellow. It was thin but looked like it had something rectangular in it. I looked at the front of it. It said: “To the curious” on it in a fine cursive and had a smiley face drawn directly below that. I shook it. The rectangular thing shook around. I looked around looking for someone to claim the envelope but no one even looked up. So I swallowed with anticipation. I opened it with difficulty because it was sealed with wax. Blood red wax. There was a yellow flip/flash drive and a folded paper that looked and felt like parchment. I closed the envelope again and slipped it into my backpack. Later that day, I took it out again in my apartment. My roommate was seeing family for the weekend so I had the place to myself for a while. I sat in my computer chair at the desk with a computer on it as I opened it again. I pulled the paper out with the flashdrive. The flashdrive looked completely ordinary, no weird thing about it. It wasn’t hot, or cold, or feel wrong, it was just a flashdrive. I opened the folded parchment. It said “I can’t wait to meet you” -Shall not be named” written in fine cursive, And there was a winking skull face with a crown on it drawn below. I chuckled a bit. I fingered the flash drive and then stuck it into a USB port on the computer. My computer scanned it for malware and viruses. It was clean. I opened the folder. There was a singular file titled: “Shallnotbenamed.exe”. I don’t really know the purpose of the exe but I feel it was titled like that intentionally. I clicked on it and ran it. It pulled up the media player and it played automatically. I held my breath. I heard one of those old projectors turn on and it illuminated a dark room. The camera was placed next to it. An image was projected on the screen. It projected a yellow crowned winking skull on a white background. I heard a shuffling in the room. It sounded like someone sat in an armchair next to the camera. This was confirmed when a hand was placed in the cameras frame as if the arm was directly next to the camera. But the hand was wrong. It was so thin you could see every individual bone in it like the owner was anorexic. It had long, thin fingers with sharp looking black nails and had snow white skin on the hand like it had never seen the light. It clacked the table the camera was located on with each individual finger. A rich, low tone voice broke the sound of the projector. “Hah hah hah. I just love that introductory animation. Reminds me a bit of myself. I’m sure the viewer wants to know what this is all about. Well, the letter said: “to the curious” so that obviously states what you are. So… let’s sate that curiosity shall we? You’re name is…” the voice paused. “Caleb. Right?” My heart skipped a beat. How could this person on a prerecorded video know my name? I just couldn’t take my eyes from the screen. “Well, I’m sure you’re curious about the answers to the finals you skipped studying to watch little old me.” My eyes widened. “Check your desk drawer.” I hesitated. “Now.” He said with force. I reached to the upper right drawer and opened it. The drawer was empty eight short minutes earlier, but now it had a stack of papers. I pulled them out. It was all my finals. In order of problems and subject and every question was answered. At the end there was that crowned winking skull. “Courtesy of shall not be named” was signed in cursive. I was flipping out. I went to close out but there was no red x. I tried cntrl-alt-delete but nothing happened. “I’m sorry, Caleb but I seem to have you as a captive audience right now. I thought you would appreciate the answers to your finals. A little reward for being curious. That’s what I love about you little creatures, always so eager to learn. Always so curious. Now I shall tell you a few things I think you should know.” The screen changed. It had a 1 in the top left corner and had a picture of my girlfriend Vanessa. Her and her long, sleek black hair and her fair skin and beautiful brown eyes. She was smiling. I remember this picture, I took it. At the top the title was “heartbreak”. “Alright Caleb, it pains me but you need to know this. For the last 3 months, Vanessa had been seeing this Jacob fellow. You’ve practically become a side project for her. She sees him on a daily basis while she just doesn’t want to break your heart with her weekly visits. The picture skipped and it showed a video of my loving girlfriend knocking on a foreign door and a really fit, good looking guy opened it up. He smiled and she hugged him with a huge smile on both of their faces. He invited her in, to which she accepted and it fast forwarded. They sat on a couch and cuddled up. They turned something on and after a time clock reported 45 minutes the started kissing and escalated to groping. They moved back to the bedroom and the camera followed them in. A million emotions were flying around inside me like a hurricane trying to free itself from the trappings of my heart and soul. My mouth dropped and a few tears escaped. They stripped. “I think you get the point. Definitely not a keeper. Sorry, Caleb. But hey, that Katy girl has a pretty big crush on you. Japanese. Pretty cute. You’ve seen her. Good luck with that. Next.” The next slide had a 2 in the upper left corner. The title was “Your writing career” and the picture was a book. “You’ve got some great ideas, kid. If you’re diligent and pick the right opportunities, which will be the third ones, take my word for it, you will be incredibly successful. Next.” The next had a 3 in the corner. The title was World War 3. “An unfortunate consequence to being small minded and petty as a species. Fight what you don’t understand. Fight what you dislike. The U.S. will bring the draft back in. You’ll get chosen. Taking into consideration you make it that far. You CAN avoid it if you move back to Japan with Katy. But if you choose to stay, I recommend you move to a… less important city in the U.S.. Give it time and that place will be unlivable for the next 300 years and dangerous for the next 3000. Undesirable for the next 30000. Funny how half-life works, right? Next.” The number was 4. The title was God. There was just a blank white screen for the background. “Simple. Make your own decisions. Don’t listen to a deity that controls your praise through fear. Trust me, you’ll get plenty of that. If you’re going to worship, worship a god that will love you unconditionally before the good old brother in law forces you into worship of him. Next.” The last was the skull with that winking animation. “Oh, we’ve reached the end of our little montage. But of course information isn’t free. I ask one thing. Upload this video anonymously to any place on the Internet. Doesn’t matter where. Just please no twitter, that format s***s, and no Facebook, too much of too much. Tumblr or reddit or some random place would suit my needs just fine. Do that and you’ll be free of my… insurance…” the hand disappeared. The camera moved smoothly up revealing a yellow fabric on a bone thin frame that was seated I’m a blood red arm chair. I wasn’t ready for what I saw next. The camera rested on a face. The face was bone white and the teeth were visible. The face had no lips. It had no nose, just a nasal cavity where the nose should have been. The eyes were like black holes, absorbing all light that seemed to enter them. It was hideously terrifying as the face started cracking as it smiled devilishly. Then the cracks widened. The skull caved in on top, revealing a golden crown with a language that was indecipherable inscribed on it. Yellow tendrils shot out of the eyes without warning and red light bathed the frame. Black tar poured out of the cracks and spaces between the teeth and nose cavity. The tendrils grabbed the jaw and forced it open and the tar flowed out like a waterfall and more tendrils came out and I saw a pair of red lights as bright as searchlights, within the tar. The voice came as a low resonant voice and a terrifying screech at the same time with many different tones as if you layed many voices over each other. “I go by many names. You can call me the yellow king. The unspeakable. The father of truth. The creator of insanity. Or my birth-name, Ha-” I blacked out. I woke up here. The file is ready to upload to various different places. I wish this on no one. Even my worst enemy. But it hurts. I can’t take it any more. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This is a warning. Never watch Shallnotbenamed.exe. for the love of god, or whatever there is never watch it. Again. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry… /#/ File designated: “Shallnotbenamed.exe” has been uploaded.”