You were my number one.
My favorite.
My love.
My eternal sunshine.
The way you laughed, the way you smiled.
The way you looked at me.
When we first met, I felt like I was dreaming.
I was so nervous.
I had told you I had been hurt before.
You seemed to understand like no one had ever done before.
You made me think I was your world.
I believed in you.
I believed in us.
You made me think that I could be vulnerable.
That I could show you who I truly am.
What I truly am…
But you turned your back on me.
You recoiled from me.
Told me that I was crazy.
But I am far from it.
You don’t understand…
I did this for us.
I did this so you could be happy, so there wasn’t any….
Distractions.
You said things were going well.
Why would you let something as little as this jeopardize our relationship?
“I can’t believe you’re so perfect.”
You remember when you told me that?
What changed?
Just because I let you in?
Did I move things along too quickly?
I should have taken things slower I suppose.
But that really doesn’t matter now.
I just don’t understand this.
Things were going so well.
You aren’t the first I’ve shared this with.
But I honestly thought you’d be the last.
I brought you to my special place.
My sanctuary!
Do you even understand how important that is?
You made me trust in you.
This is why I can’t trust anyone.
You lied to me.
You told me you were different from the rest.
That I could trust you.
That I could love you…
But you’re all the same.
The exact same as the others.
All the others before you said the same exact thing.
Fed my the same lines and b******t.
“You can tell me anything”
“Nothing will ever make me stop loving you”
“I love you”
None of it was ever true was it?
Jesus I should have known.
I told you I was a collector.
You said I was “quirky”
I told you I wanted to change the world
You told me “I know you can”
But when I take the time to show you my collection, you scream.
You call me a monster.
A freak.
But you should know I’d never hurt you.
And I thought you would never hurt me either.
But I guess I was wrong.
I was so so wrong.
Now I’ve lost you and I know you’re not coming back.
But it’s ok.
The others may get jealous.
You’re now my number one in my collection.
