Killer Jaz and Eyeless Jack – Part 3

by Lovexavier101
1.1k
4.31
19

We get into the mansion and I get malled by people. I just roll my eyes and walk away. I sit on the couch. Jeff the killer looks at me then says, “I like her she’s kinda like me how I ignored all of u when I came here.” Eyeless Jack goes and sits down next to me. Jeff looks are him then to me. Jeff comes up to me and says, “Hey hot stuff? Wanna go out with me?”

I rolled my eyes then stood up and said. “Jeff I wouldn’t want to date u even if u were human.” He looks at me then tries to smack me. I let him do it, but Jack caught his hand. I smiled and thought to myself: that’s the man I want. Eyeless Jack you’re my one and only.

Come to find out I said that out loud and everybody looked at me. I instant ran out the front door and into the woods. Jack followed me. I stopped to sit down on a tree that had fallen over. Jack touched around the tree and finally found where I was. He pulled me down and I looked down not wanting him to see that I was blushing.

Jack took off his mask and put his hand on my chin then held my head up. I looked at him. “Jaz I know that I can’t see, but can you tell me if I’m touching your waist?” He smiled as he said that. I looked down really quick and his hand was at my waist. I then said, “Yes it is.” He smiled then kissed me. I looked shocked but went with it. Jeff saw this whole thing and walked back to the mansion kinda bummed out. Jack and I went back to the mansion and sat on the couch.

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  • Angel

    Oh, snap!!! I like this series more and more!!!

  • Jackii-Dakota Ferris

    Not enough detail at all to lead into such a fast romantic turn! You have some spelling errors you should correct. It cracked me up how you stated, ” I didn’t want Jack to see me blushing”. Then you proceed to have Jack explain that he couldn’t see if his hands were on your waist! Might want to fix that sweetheart. It just seems very rushed, too short considering the details aren’t there, and it’s overall written appearance is very pre-teen.

    • AlphaZalgo375

      Not everyone has the greatest spelling in the hole world you know and just enjoy the story as it is. If you don’t like it son’t read it, stop being such a critic

      • Jackii-Dakota Ferris

        Coming from someone with bad spelling and likely a pre-teen. Criticism is crucial to stories it helps people to improve, idiot.

        • AlphaZalgo375

          Idiot really is that the best you can come up with wow just enjoy 79th story of you don’t then don’t come back to read another part

          • IronMosquito

            Telling someone to stop criticising a story on a public website is stupid. How idiotic do you have to be? Plus, reading this gives me a laugh and helps me realize that though I might not be a great author, I could be a lot worse. All in all, your comments don’t really do much to stop us from reading and criticising them, especially when I can’t even understand what you’re trying to say.

          • AlphaZalgo375

            How bout you just enjoy the stuff he/she can write and if you don’t enjoy it don’t come back

          • AlphaZalgo375

            You keep saying how horrible it is and you keep coming back

          • AlphaZalgo375

            Thai site is for good horror story’s not for citizising authors on their story’s not by you two

          • IronMosquito

            First off, you’ve got me all wrong. I do genuinely enjoy reading these, because of how stupid and funny they are. I gotta see more, and it gets better/worse each time! Also, you saying that this site is for good horror stories makes me wonder what you consider a horror story since this is more of a Trollpasta than an actual pasta. Also, if something is posted on a public forum, people should be allowed to criticize them. Like me, for example. I posted my stories knowing I would get possibly negative feedback. Any author, good or bad, should be able to accept it.

          • Izzy Walker

            Yes my stuff needs more improvement, but I at least have been trying to fix it. Instead of doing something like what you are reading. I need to improve on all of the parts that have been uploaded.

          • Jackii-Dakota Ferris

            And you deserve a round of applause! Couldn’t have said it better myself!

          • Izzy Walker

            for your information it is hard to be a person to think of the right things to write about. also @@alphazalgo375:disqus is correct and I am working pretty hard to make the parts of this series longer and more exciting. But I also need more ideas for this series. there is a Part 9 coming soon. I just typed Part 9 not that long ago. I hope that one is better.

          • Jackii-Dakota Ferris

            Do you write in English, or are you just genuinely illiterate? Most of what you just attempted to come back with makes me feel like I’m reading a poorly translated text from Google. As for using the word idiot-why would I say anything less or more? I’m not an angry child-Im not going to sit here and yell curse words at you for no reason. I gave criticism, which is expected when so eone posts a story and I gave honest/clear feedback. You want to come at me on the writers behalf because you somehow personally feel attacked. Grow up

  • IronMosquito

    Yeah, this is so hilariously bad. If this person was insensitive to violence then wouldn’t they be incapable of loving? I will admit this love triangle interests me because it’s going to be spectacularly terrible.

  • AlphaZalgo375

    Keep it up love how the story been going!!

  • IronMosquito

    Agreed!

  • Jackii-Dakota Ferris

    100% agreed

  • Izzy Walker

    There is gonna be a remake of all of these. I am going to improve on this. If anyone wants to add something that I can put on the remakes let me know. And yes I am the writer of this series.