I remember being a kid so happy so full of life, running around not a care in the world. Oh please take me back to those times, I miss them so much. Nowadays it’s horrible, not happy, never feeling accepted, just sadness all the time.
I go to school and sit alone with my headphones in listening to music, because music is the only thing that keeps me from bursting out on tears. And of course the teachers always make me take them out.
“You have to pay attention Jessica so you can get an education and a good job when you graduate.”
I never understood why they always said this, I never listened. Music is the only thing that gets me, connects with me the way no one ever has.
I didn’t like lunch either, I always sat alone because no one liked me, the weird girl, the ugly girl. No matter what I did to try to fit in, everyone picked on me and hated me. I never did anything to them, why do they have to act like this? I ask myself this same question every day.
Even after school it doesn’t stop. I get home and am greeted by my parents who ask how my day was. “Fine,” I answer every time so they’ll leave me alone. The truth is I’m never fine, I’m on the verge of tears every day of my life, and have been for the past 2 years. I even resorted to cutting, I did it quite frequently actually. I did it for about 20 minutes every day I got home from school and right before I went to bed. I always blamed it on my cat when people would ask about it, I don’t have a cat but no one came over so they didn’t know that.
I always wore long sleeves so it was hard for them to notice, they normally noticed when we had school projects and had to roll up our sleeves.
Mom, you really seemed to care, but dad you didn’t give a s**t about me, he saw the cuts, he just said, “put those damn things away before I look like a bad parent.”
I hated him so much, always acting like a good parent, dad I never even loved you, I only acted like I did so you would leave me alone. I guess now it doesn’t even matter, you won’t have to worry about me anymore.
Mom I’m very sorry for what this may be doing to you, I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to stop him from hurting me. When you know it’s your time, pray It’ll all be over soon, then take your leap of faith, and allow the chair to fall.
Don’t worry about me though, I’ll be waiting for you with grandma, I’ll see you when your time has come, and as for your husband, I don’t even consider him my dad, I’m so happy I will never have to see him again. Tell him to say hi to grandpa for me.
Oh and dad? Nah I’ll just call you David. Next time think before telling me to end it all, and that It’ll be better for the family. 🙂 Also Go F**k yourself David.
Much Love, Jessica
Maybe you can hang this on the fridge since you’ve never hung anything else I’ve got on it.
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I hope yalls enjoyed the story, please give me feedback on what I can change or what I should keep the same. Thank you so much for the support, much love.