Not that bad. Very short and many spelling and grammar mistakes. I wish there was more things to explain the eye patch and why the girl looked just like the main character. Maybe proofread your writing a little more. I rate 2.5 stars
DahrknessInTheLight
Could use a bit more filling. It’s decently written, and seems like it could really go somewhere, but there’s just a few too many dead ends. I like it, however, and would recommend.