“Daddy?” I thought to myself,
Instantly, my head felt like somebody had beat me with an axe, splitting my brain in two as memories rushed in, memories I never had before now! I could remember being five years old and jumping into my father’s car when he came home from work, I could remember this exact moment, I could remember being here at this moment in time before, but that child was me…
“What’s wrong Daddy?” The child asked as I was holding my head in pain,
“Agh! Oh, nothing kiddo, just a… Just a headache,” I replied,
“Let’s go see Mummy, she can make you better!” He exclaimed, “She always makes me better when I’m poorly,”
I drove towards my mother’s house, but as I got outside it looked different, the house was the same, but the garden wasn’t as nice as it had been, there were no flowers and a swing set was in place of the oak tree that was once there,
“At least there’s a driveway,” I thought to myself as I pulled in,
The five-year-old version of myself jumped out of the car and ran inside the house as I shut off the engine, I locked the car door and walking up to the front door, I didn’t know what to expect. I stood on the doorstep for a moment and listened to the sound of “my son” running up the stairs and the sounds of clattering pots and pans coming from the kitchen. I walked inside and headed to the living room, my mother walked in and kissed me on the cheek,
“Hello honey, I’m just washing up and then I’m going to make a coffee, would you like one?” She said,
“No thank you,”
“Okay, well, I won’t be long, and could you take Alex to my mother’s shortly? She said she was babysitting tonight,”
“Of course,” I replied, somewhat confused,
I didn’t fully understand what exactly was going on, I am Alex, but somehow, I’ve found myself in a dimension where there is another me, a five-year-old version of me, and I am his dad!
“This doesn’t make sense!” I thought to myself, sitting down on the sofa,
I turned on the TV and was greeted by static, flicking through the channels, none of them seemed to work so I got up to check the cables as I heard a faint voice in the background of the white noise. At first, it was hard to make out what the TV was saying as the voice stuttered through the hiss,
“M… Cl-ca… Y-y-y… Un-un-u… A-a-st-s-st… M-m-murrrr-der…”
I stood there staring for a moment as the voice became a little clear,
“You’ve been wa-wa-watching Ta-ta-s-fr-te-mi” The man’s voice stuttered as I hit the side of the TV, “H-h-ow will A-A-Alex get out of this one and who will he w-w-will-e kill next?”
“What?” I mumbled, staring at the screen
I could slightly make out a face on the screen made up of the static itself as the man smoke again,
“Wh-who will you kill next, A-Alex?” The man spoke,
“How are you doing this?” I asked,
“Your s-s-son? You wife?” The TV continued, “Your-o-o-our… Yourself?”
The man in the static began to laugh sadistically,
“No!” I raised my voice, “I won’t kill anyone, not again!”
My mother entered the living room,
“Did you say something, honey?” She asked,
“Huh? Yeah, the stupid TV won’t work,” I remarked, pressing the on button,
The TV turned on with no problem, as my mother walked towards me with her arms open,
“It’s working fine now,” She said, wrapping her arms around me, “Take Alex to my mum’s and we can have some alone time,”
I cringed at the thought,
“To her this was normal, but this isn’t my dimension, this is i****t,” I thought, stepping back,
“Okay, I’m just going to get my coat from the bedroom,”
I headed up the stairs and into the bedroom as I heard a knocking at the door, I stood there, staring out of the bedroom window and again I felt the sharp pain rush through my head, I could feel my brain cells separating and my nerves exploding as my brain flooded with new memories, looking down, I could see my father’s car in the driveway, I could see the swing set I used to play on when I was a child, I could remember it all, but these are not my memories, these are the memories of the child downstairs. Falling to my knees, I looked up and saw Ian stood there holding a glass of water and some painkillers,
“Hey, man! Your son let me in and asked me to bring these up to you, here,” He said, handing me the water and paracetamol,
“Thanks,” I said, “Ian, what is going on? How can he be my own son?” I questioned,
“It seems you’ve jumped to a dimension where it’s possible to be your own father, kinda like that old riddle,” He laughed,
“What?”
“You know, what came first, the chicken or the egg?”
“No, that’s impossible!” I shouted, “No matter what dimension I’m in, there are laws of time and space, laws of physics, it doesn’t matter where or when you are, there are some things that are just impossible!” I shouted,
“Like having memories, you never had before? Like killing a wife you never had? Like having a dream of your mother’s death, only to wake up and kill your own mother? Alex, nothing is impossible. Improbable maybe, but nothing is impossible when you use your imagination, you wanted a family, Alex,”
“I wanted my mother, I wanted Lucille!” I snarled, turning to look out of the window, “I want clarity, I just want a normal life, I want to be happy!”
A little voice trembled behind me,
“Who are you talking to Daddy?” Alex said,
Ian had again vanished and I was alone in the bedroom with this younger version of myself,
“Oh nobody, go downstairs and get your coat on, we’re going to Nanna’s,” I said,
With that, Alex ran for the door with a look of joy on his face, I opened the wardrobe and took out my coat as I began to head downstairs,
“I’m going to drop him off now,” I called as I reached for the front door, but I got no reply,
Opening the door I saw Alex was already sat in my car, so I got in myself and we set off, I wasn’t exactly sure where I was supposed to be heading, but I had a pretty good idea. I drove to my own Nanna’s house, as we pulled up, Alex jumped out of my car and ran toward the front door, knocking on it loudly. I got out of the car, leaving the engine running and walked toward the door myself as my Nanna answered, looking at me,
“Alex, my how you’ve grown!” She exclaimed,
“Hello, it’s nice to see you, Nanna,” I replied, thankful that one person here other than Ian, knew who I really am,
“No Nanna, I’m down here!” Alex giggled, “Stop joking,”
“Oh I’m sorry dear, you just look so much like your dad, come on in,” My Nanna replied,
I stood there in shock, as it dawned on me, my Nanna doesn’t know me as me, even to her I am my own father,
“Come by tomorrow after dinner to pick him up?” She asked,
“I will do,” I replied, and with that, my Nanna closed the door,
I got back in my car and sat there for a moment and that’s when I dawned on me that I couldn’t stay, I drove straight back to my mother’s house, ran into the kitchen and made the decision that I couldn’t do this anymore, the TV was right, who would I kill next? I didn’t want this, I just wanted a normal life, I just wanted to be back home, in my own dimension. I set up the two glasses t make my jump writing “Here” and “Home” on the two pieces of paper, I did my usual routine of focusing on the glasses before transferring the water and drinking it all.
“Honey, are you home?” My mother said, coming in the front door,
“Yes, but I have a splitting headache, I’m going to bed,” I replied, as I left the kitchen and began to head upstairs,
“Oh… Okay,” She replied,
Getting undressed and laying in bed, I thought to myself how I had come such a long way and was so determined to get to a dimension where I could finally be with my mother, but every attempt failed, maybe it was for the best I had decided to give up, nothing seemed to go right. I quickly fell asleep but was awakened some time later to the sounds of screams and sadistic laughs in the darkness, echoing outside my door, I tried to jump up from my bed but I couldn’t move, I was tied down…
